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Jokes
Jun 3, 2011 12:12:31 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Jun 3, 2011 12:12:31 GMT -6
Great Joke Pseudo,
I almost wet myself with that one.
OOOPPPSSS!
I think I might just have anyway!
got to go!,
Tee hee hee. Pun intended.
got to go, Get it? Huh, Huh, Huh?
Oh all right... Slaps the lowly cricket on the back...
Not funny.
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Jokes
Dec 16, 2011 18:33:01 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Dec 16, 2011 18:33:01 GMT -6
Three wizards walk into the Hogshead Tavern: a Greek Wizard, an Italian Wizaard and an Irish Wizard.
Each man orders a Firewhiskey.
Three Cornish Pixies fly into the tavern and one Pixey lands in each wizard's drink.
The Italian wizard pulls the pixey out of his Firewhiskey, says "tutto 'e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the Firewhiskey down.
The Greek wizard shows his Firewhiskey with the Pixie still inside to the barman and asks for another Firewhiskey.
The Irish wizard grabs the Pixie out of the Firewhiskey, takes it by it's wings, while yelling
"Cough it up, you wee theivin' bugger!!"
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Jokes
Feb 12, 2012 20:45:53 GMT -6
Post by grandpalovegood on Feb 12, 2012 20:45:53 GMT -6
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
yeah... it runs in your jeans.
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Jokes
Feb 13, 2012 12:12:41 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Feb 13, 2012 12:12:41 GMT -6
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Jokes
Sept 28, 2012 10:27:14 GMT -6
Post by misscharlotte on Sept 28, 2012 10:27:14 GMT -6
OH you goof. LOL
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Jokes
Oct 5, 2012 7:59:00 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Oct 5, 2012 7:59:00 GMT -6
Knock, knock.....
Who's there?
Quirrell.
Quirrell HOOT?
All right Hedwig, just open up the stupid door!
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Jokes
Feb 3, 2013 7:49:52 GMT -6
Post by misscharlotte on Feb 3, 2013 7:49:52 GMT -6
I didn't really know where to post this so I think this thread seems like the right place. Lately, on Saturday nights at around 9pm, I've been trying to watch a show on MeTV called Svengoolie. i46.TP .com/2817i3s.png Really on the guide it shows up as the name of the movie they are featuring that night... But Svengoolie is like those old Elvira or Vincent Price hosted shows. They feature OLD classic horror movies no matter if they were good or bad films. Most of them I see as humor... Anway... Last night he featured the old Wolfman movie with Lon Chaney Jr. The one we all must have seen at one time in our lives. I had to watch it.... (I usually, end up falling asleep during the show... as I did last night too.) Well, when the commercials come on, we are deviated from the movie to the host to hear this Svengoolie character tell his intentionally bad jokes... I mean he litterally has rubber chickens thrown at him each night.  Last night, he was making Wolfman jokes and went into Potter mode. He said that thinking about the Wolfman and the fact that he's so "Hairy" that made him think of "Hairy - Paw - ter".... and how Hairy has a friend named Ron Weasley... or Weasles and how wheasles are furry little rodents... and how they also have another friend named "Hair- mione"...  Yep.... then the rubber chickens were flung at him for saying all of that. |
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Jokes
Jul 10, 2013 8:52:46 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Jul 10, 2013 8:52:46 GMT -6
How does a foolish Bull get back into the barn after his Cow has locked him out for staying out all night long?
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Jokes
Aug 5, 2013 19:19:32 GMT -6
Post by rin68nyr on Aug 5, 2013 19:19:32 GMT -6
I had put a bunch of HP jokes up over on the old Prof. Malachi board...here they are again, for your laughing pleasure!
how many slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb
5. 1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say that with their father's connection at the ministry they could screw it in faster
Why did the Weasel cross the road?
Somebody tossed a knut.
Why did Potter cross the road.
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.
Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on
Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?
Draco did.
Why do Slytherins cross the road twice?
Because they are doublecrossers
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Cornelius
-Cornelius who?
-Well, that's politics for you.........
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
You know!
You know who?
It's okay, he's dead! You can say his name now, silly!
How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.
How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.
How many Dumbledores does it take to light up a wand?
-We're going to have to settle for one (the other is busy practicing inappropriate charms on a goat).
How many fan fiction writers does it take to light up a wand?
-None ... alas, all we can do is write about it.
How many Creeveys does it take to light up a wand?
-Just one, he did all by himself, it was awesome, and I bet Harry can't wait to hear all about it.
How many escaped convicts does it take to light a wand?
-One, but he needs to steal the wand first.
Hey, how many centaurs does it take to light up a wand?
-None. Mars is unusually bright tonight.
How many members of the infamous Trio does it take to light a wand?
-All three of them. Harry to light the wand, Ron to be jealous of his wand-lighting ability, and Hermione to give the complete history of wands and the 'Lumos' spell.
How many ghosts does it take to light a wand?
-Answer, as given by Moaning Myrtle: That's so insensitive! How can you ask me that when you know perfectly well I can't hold a wand because I'm...I'm... *bursts into hysterical sobs and flushes herself to go spy on the Prefects*
How many Mirror of Eriseds does it take to light a wand?
None, the person in front of it just has to want it lit really bad.
Erin
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Jokes
Aug 6, 2013 11:12:40 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Aug 6, 2013 11:12:40 GMT -6
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Jokes
Aug 6, 2013 13:45:24 GMT -6
Post by rin68nyr on Aug 6, 2013 13:45:24 GMT -6
Hey Duddahs....How does a foolish Bull get back into the barn after his Cow has locked him out for staying out all night long?
Erin
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Jokes
Aug 6, 2013 14:02:38 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Aug 6, 2013 14:02:38 GMT -6
Hey Duddahs....How does a foolish Bull get back into the barn after his Cow has locked him out for staying out all night long? Erin He Kowtow's to her every demand! |
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Jokes
Aug 6, 2013 15:11:44 GMT -6
Post by rin68nyr on Aug 6, 2013 15:11:44 GMT -6
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Jokes
Jun 1, 2015 12:24:55 GMT -6
Post by Duddahs on Jun 1, 2015 12:24:55 GMT -6
A man walks into a pub along with his black Labrador Retriever.
He pulls up to the bar, asks the bartender for a pint.
The bartender looks down at the Black Lab, tells it's owner,
"You can't come in here with a dog!"
The man looks directly at the bartender and states;
"This is my seeing eye dog sir."
With that, the bartender apologizes profusely. Totally embarrassed, he offers the patron his drink on the house.
The patron accepts and walks to a small table by the entrance and sits down along with his dog.
A few minutes later another patron enters the pub accompanied by his Chihuahua.
The man with the Black Lab catches the new patrons attention.
"Psst, psst, the bartender is going to tell you that you can't come in here with your dog. Just tell him that he's your seeing eye dog, worked for me and he even gave me a drink on the house."
The new patron thanks him, walks up to the bar to order his drink.
The bartender looks down toward the patrons feet, exclaims;
"You can't come in here with a dog!"
The new patron looks over the shoulder of the bartender, face blankly staring off into the distance and proclaims;
"This is my seeing eye dog, may I have my drink now?"
Angered, the bartender leans into the patron, face to face;
"Like heck it is, they don't use Chihuahua's as seeing eye dogs."
The new patrons jaw drops, he continues to stare over the bartenders shoulder, then speaks firmly;
"What the heck? They gave me a Chihuahua?"
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